Are you internally referenced?

I subscribe to TDL – The Daily Love and was reading yesterdays’ post by Mastin Kipp on Don’t Take Blame or Praise Personally! Define your self from within.

It not only resonated with me in terms of delving into the question “How do we each be unapologetically ourselves”, but also reminded me of an 11-day silent meditation retreat I did many years ago in Japan.

The teacher, slightly making fun of the group, highlighted how many of us are easily controlled by external circumstances. He used the simple example of the weather. “If it is a sunny day, many of you are a happy, if it is a rainy day, many of you are sad. Your emotions go up… your emotions go down … up, down, always being controlled by the outside”. One of the purposes of the retreat was to get practice at observing our breath and to retain our inner peace no matter what goes on around us. As negative thoughts come up, we were to return peacefully observing our breath.  What I observed in myself over that 11 days of silence, is how easy it was for me to be pulled out of my center and get hooked into the negative AND positive thoughts. Through awareness, I try to be mindful if I am triggered, and return to my center as soon as I can.

Think about the times during the day where you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your external environment. It could be the unconscious ways you are seeking approval and validation from others or the ways you limit yourself to avoid criticism. Now spend some time in your internal environment. Get quiet, and turn your attention inwards – sit in your own center for a moment.